FATHERS DAY

The testimony of a parent’s love can best be demonstrated by letting one’s children follow their own path without a caveat or stipulation. As the “gift within” unfolds through our kids, true love, the ability to understand and be present with them, takes center stage and guides our parenting efforts.  Often referred as “unconditional love”, parenting in this fashion requires an emotional strength rarely demonstrated today as the “me generation” (baby boomers) moves through the parenting years.  I feel fortunate to have met a number of exemplary role models along this road as an educator for over 25 years and Jim Hinde will always be toward the top of my list.  He personified “gift within” parenting by putting to the side his ego, aspirations, and short-comings by unconditionally following his children’s  path.  Unfortunately, Jim died in his sleep earlier this summer and those of us who knew him, will miss him so.

There’s a good chance you may have met Jim if you have ever visited Pike Place Market in Seattle, Washington. Pike Place takes center stage in Seattle as tourists from all over the world come to experience the excitement and energy of one of our country’s finest farmers’ markets.  And within the context of flying fish, fresh produce, local hand-crafts, and delicious food, for almost twenty years, Jim graciously performed daily as the voice of the market; the most loved and respected street musician (“busker”) you’ll ever meet.  Since his passing late June, there have been numerous articles written about his extraordinary contribution within the Seattle community and specifically, Pikes Place, for his songs of peace, protest, and patriotism resonated throughout the city.   He will be deeply missed for his burly – bushy presence was easy to pick out amongst the crowds but it was his warm heart, infectious smile, and grass roots message that touched the soul of those who knew him.  Nevertheless, I knew Jim as a father, and it is within this context, that I feel compelled to share what I have learned though his example; he was one of those remarkable few who pushed aside his own ego and desire for the love of his children.

Recently, I received a brief note from his wife of 29 years, where Janet stated, “He loved his family more than he loved himself”.  And this always impressed me about Jim for such a physically large man with a huge presence and personality, he consistently was concerned about others and their own state of affairs.  When I first met Jim, I was the Principal of an elementary school his son, Nate, attended.  I had just moved into the small community of Vashon Island and thought at first that Jim was like everyone else on the island for he looked like a post-seventies hippie with his beard and long hair.  This was farthest from the truth.  As we spent time getting to know one another through the course of events guided by Nate’s adventures at school, it was clear to me that Jim was different  for his heart was in the parenting game for one thing alone, his kids.  Countless times I heard him say in the most loving way, “That’s my Nate”.   While most parents would either feel embarrassed about their children’s actions that brought the attention of the Principal, or worse, excuse the behavior and point fingers in other directions, Jim would look at me with complete understanding and say, “My son has his own path to follow … we just need to help him along the way”.  He referred to his son as “Nate the Great” and I will always remember Jim for his unyielding affirmation of his son’s potential.

Years followed and every so often, we ran into one another at local folk festivals, events, and the Pike Place Market.   And each time, he provided a running account of both his kids: Katie was moving through the university system toward graduate school and Nate was following his own compass through poetry, live performance, and music.  I’ll never forget the time when he told me about the tragic events which lead to his son’s hospitalization.  As I recollect, Nate was with a group of friends in Pioneer Square, one of Seattle’s destination spots for late night partying and music.  During a fight between two others, Nate jumped in to break it up and in the process, he suffered massive head injuries and was taken to the hospital for emergency brain surgery.   But what left the greatest impression within this story as Jim told it to me, was two points: His son was OK and will be alright and secondly, that he was so proud of his son for doing the right thing, standing up for another.  I can hear him still say, “That is so like Nate … he is a special person”.   Jim always understood we all must walk a path which is guided by our own purpose.   Not only did he appreciate it for his own kids but also for himself.

In the old days, before playing his own music at Pike Place Market for a living, Jim was in sales and advertising.  But then he started listening to the voice within and began performing at local pubs and festivals on weekends.  By 1990, he gave up the corporate ladder completely and turned to his passion for politics and activism through music full time.  When I met him in 1993, he was fully immersed in the busker lifestyle and traveled throughout the US bringing his vision of Americana to festivals, in addition to his full-time job singing at Pike Place.   In a recent Seattle Times article, the following was said of Jim: “He's one of those big personalities that defines and fills the Market," said David Dickinson, acting Market master for the Pike Place Market Preservation & Development Authority. "He knew and touched everybody here. If you walked by him, and you were open to it, he'd get to your heart."

And Jim got to mine.  As a father myself, I have always been impressed  how he profoundly loved his kids unconditionally. As Katie pursued her doctorate at UCLA , he also spoke about Nate’s pursuit of performance art with the same level of tenderness , respect, and pride.  Most noticeably, he separated his own issues, passions, and short-comings from his kids’ lives.  As a Vietnam Veteran, he returned from duty with post-traumatic stress disorder and continued to deal with the demons associated with his military service but never did he impose his inner conflicts upon his children; it just caused him to work harder at being a father to them.  His daughter Katie recently was quoted as stating, "Being a dad was the most important thing to him. His biggest fear was that he would let us down. He worked so hard to make sure that never happened."   

And in sharing his story, I hope others will also see what I saw in Jim: he was a man who humbly lived for his family, one who never asked for anything from others, and at the same time, he always gave 100% of himself to his children and to the commitments he shared with the rest of us.  Though he experienced great pain from his past, Jim was one person you could count on for being present and demonstrating unconditional love at all times.  He will be missed.